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Association Of Intergalactic Travel And Tourism
SMALLFLACIDTM INC.
ARMBOTTM MAINTENANCE DROID
OPERATION AND SERVICE GUIDE
ISSUED TO:
071178 Kill, Rodney
INTRODUCTION
Welcome and congratulations on the acquisition of your
SmallflacidTM ArmbotTM maintenance droid! We at SmallflacidTM
truly believe that our maintenance droid is without equal, and that
it will provide you and your family or place of work with countless
hours of enjoyment and an overwhelming sense of self-worth.
Like any servant, the ArmbotTM requires attention and
maintenance. This guide has been prepared to make this as easy
and enjoyable a process as possible.
Thank you for the money.
- SmallflacidTM ArmbotTM Team
PREPARED FOR USE BY AITT PERSONNEL
This guide has been specially prepared for use by AITT personnel and is not approved for
use by anyone else, living or dead. Loss of this guide should be reported to your commanding
officer immediately for replacement and reprimand.
This guide is property of AITT. User is responsible for any damages to the guide and is
expected to keep it in good working order. Inspection of the condition of the guide may be
requested at any time, along with a field sobriety test.
1
GET TO KNOW YOUR ARMBOTTM
COM-IO
Main communications IO.
Used to send collected
data to server, as well as
our marketing department,
and to receive driver
updates and spyware.
H.E.A.D
Contains main CPU, power
supply, and optical sensor.
Runs at 73 zhz and uses a
Neutromnian based coolant.
GRAFTING SERVO
Connects A.R.M to H.E.A.D.
Relies on H.E.A.D for
power, but may retain a
small independent charge if
connected to an outside
supply.
H.A.N.D
Used for retrieval and disposal of
materials, small animals and/or
children. Adjustable grip pressure
allows for the survival of said objects.
F.I.N.G.E.R.S are interchangeable
and may be replaced with various
accessories (sold separately).
2
CLEANING AND MAINTENANCE
• Clean all joints, nooks, and crannies with a damp cloth. For best
results, use only SmallflacidTM brand cleaning solutions.
• Ensure that your ArmbotTM is happy, and not ill. ArmbotsTM are
highly susceptible to viruses and bouts of severe depression.
SmallflacidTM has made available a soothing lullaby attachment
which can be ordered using the form at the back of this guide.
• Your ArmbotTM comes equipped with a loneliness alert. Should
you hear this sound, accompanied by a bluish white flashing from
the optical sensor, please take you ArmbotTM to the park, or
perhaps the zoo. For a permanent solution to this bug, feel free
to order several more ArmbotsTM.
• Should the Grafting Servo become gunked up with stuff, do
NOT use a knife to scrape it out. This will cause severe damage
to the servo, rendering it inoperable, which may lead to the
aformentioned depression.
• If all else fails, please do not discard your ArmbotTM in the trash.
Armbot’sTM have feelings too. Simply bring him to one of our
service spas and we will be able to give it a complete makeover.
3
OPERATION
To operate your ArmbotTM simply perform the Initiation Dance as
described on your ownership certificate. Each ArmbotTM will
respond to it’s unique dance only.
Specialized command dances, such as ‘repair television antenna
jazz contemporary’ and ‘feed the dog ballet’ may be purchased
separately. Dance lessons are also available for a small fee.
REMOVING THE A.R.M
In general, the A.R.M should remain attached to the H.E.A.D at
all times, however, should you wish to remove it, a simple safety
protocol has been put in place to prevent theft and/or hilarious
jokes against co-workers and/or gullible parents.
1) Remove plate on back of H.E.A.D
2) Take note of both the ID and
FACTORY numbers. These are
unique to each ArmbotTM
3) Take note of your personalized
SECURITY number below. Each
software license has a separate
code to prevent theft and piracy
4) Use the following formula to
calculate the code required for
servo disengagement:
(ID + SECURITY) * FACTORY
SECURITY CODE: 63862
4
SUPPLIES & ACCESSORIES
SmallflacidTM is proud to offer you a wide range of supplies and
accessories for your ArmbotTM. Each of these is fully guaranteed
to work, and is digitally signed by us which sounds really
impressive, but isn’t really.
M.I.T.T.E.N
Perfect for the uninhabitable coldness of space.
Treat your ArmbotTM to a little warmth. Warm
H.A.N.Ds make for warmy goodness.
Fashionable Contact Lenses
Don’t let your ArmbotTM be the freak of the town.
Conformity is all the rage! Choose from three
sexy colours!
Servo Stress Reduction Oil
Who doesn’t love a good rubbing down with oil?
Apply some SSRO to your ArmbotTM and watch
the stresses of the day melt away.
Sport Helmet with Flames
Does your ArmbotTM enjoy speeding along at
highly dangerous speeds? If so, please call our
technicians and/or purchase this X-Treme Max
Sport helmet, with daunting flame graphics!
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Dance Programs
Add new functionality to your ArmbotTM with new
dance programs! Hundreds available! Call our
sales department for a FREE catalog today!
Detach the form below, and send it to us along with your
customer number and the names of twelve family members today!
ARMBOTTM
ACCESSORY
ORDER FORM
Please indicate the number of each item that you would like to receive
in section (a), then indicate in the box (b) the qualities most admired
in a mate. Use box (c) to inform us of any physical deformities you
may have, either from birth, or as a result of traumatizing accident.
Send to us along with your customer number and the names of twelve
family members. Your account will be charged accordingly. That’s it!
A
B
C
M.I.T.T.E.N
CONTACT LENS
OIL
HELMET
DANCE PROG.
3301-BS-31194-322
78
www.rodekill.com
All characters, names, and images © 2003 Shawn Guzzo